"Yeah, I'm okay. I've just been pushing myself too hard I guess. I need to slow down a bit. My poor brain is overworked," Lissa said.
"Runs in the family I think. I'm just glad you're okay," Mr. Morris said. "Sorry about earlier with Leo. I still just don't trust him."
"But Daddy, you even said you thought he was the one who saved your life."
Mr.Morris ran his hand over his face and back through his hair like he was trying to jump start his brain. "I know, but something still doesn't add up right now. I don't know why, but there's something there that just doesn't add up. Lissa, when you get older, like forty, and have your own kids, you'll "know why I am the way I am sometimes. Now, well you'll just have to trust me."
"Daddy, have you even tried to just talk to him? I don't mean the weird whatever that was going on in the living room. I mean just a conversation. You're nearly positive he saved your life, right?"
"Right," Mr. Morris said leaning on the doorframe.
"You are grateful for the help he gave you, right?"
"That would be correct," Mr. Morris said.
"You'd like to repay him somehow since you hate to feel obliged to anyone and because you are genuinely grateful, right?" Lissa was driving towards a point her fathr had made to her countless times when she was being sucked into girl drama or boy drama.
"Yes," Mr. Morris said knowing where she was driving him.
"So what do you think needs to be done?" Lissa asked mocking his "dad" voice.
"Point well taken. I will seek him out in the morning," Mr. Morris said, as he turned and walked away.
Lissa fell back on her bed and hoped she wouldn't dream any more. She needed to really rest. There were so many conflicting thoughts and ideas running through her head that it was getting hard to sort it all out. She wondered if the semisoft spot she had for Leo was a direct result of his involvement with her dad's rescue or if it was more of a shelter dog thing.
She always wanted to rescue animals. She hated it when anyone went to a breeder to buy a dog or cat when there were so many in shelters. She would sometimes volunteer at the local animal shelter and if it weren't for her father would have brought home quite a few "undesirables". She had a soft spot for the ones she figured no one would ever pick.
Her fondness of Jake was purely superficial. She knew this. Unfortunately, knowing and doing were two very different things. She knew she sould just leave that one alone. But she also knew she wouldn't. He was too cute not to pursue. She wanted to curl up in his arms and nuzzle into his chest. It didn't matter that the relationship was not going to go anywhere. Boats can be fun even if they never leave the dock.
Leo though he was different. There was an element of total creepyness to him, but there was also that sweet hidden center that peeked out from time to time, like when he helped pick up her books. Of course, the combination of sweet and creepy darkside made her think about all of those mystery shows on the weekends.
The kind of shows where the seemingly loving father turned out to be a deviant. She loved watching those shows with her dad on Friday or Saturday nights. They were real stories about real people, but the magic of hollywood made them so much more compelling. They's show pieces of this and pieces of that, leading you towards and simaltaneousyl away from any one conclusion.
The fact that Leo made her think of those kinds of shows defintely scared her. She tended to be a pretty good judge of character. Nevertheless, his sudden appearance and her father's weird behavoir had her at a loss. She needed to know more before she'd pass any kind of final judgement.
Sleep crept over her slowly and took her completely. It was the kind of sleep she needed where it totally consumed the whole of her person. She awoke the next morning rested and somewhat rejuvinated. Of course, she still ahd to get up, get a shower, get ready for school, pack a lunch, and get out the door. Her mood was bound to go downhill before long.
She tried not to think. The blankness was a nice start and if she could keep the boys off her mind for a little while longer she could at least get to school where teachers would keep her mid busy for a few more hours. Maybe by the afternoon she would feel more at ease with the whole weirdness of her current life.
As she came into the kitchen to pack her lunch, she saw her father in his usual morning spot at the kictchne table. He like his back to the wall just below the window so he could read the daily paper with natural light. For being environmentally conscience, Mr. Morris put a lot of trees to death. He subscribed to two different newspapers and at least four magazines or science journals.
Lissa often wondered how he kept up with it all. But she had seen over the years that his reading habits were constant. He didn't read for long periods of time. He was more of a marathon reader than a sprinter. He read a little bit every free minute he got, which allowed him to read a ton of material in a given day. He read in the bathroom, at the table, between classes, and especailly during his hall duty.
"Anything interesting, Daddy?" Lissa asked, reaching into the cupboard for a container to pack her lunch in.
"Nothing out of the ordinary. I took the liberty of packing you a lunch. I wanted to get to school early," Mr. Morris said looking over his paper.
"Did you pack a lunch I'll eat?" Lissa asked equally pleased and upset that her father had packed her lunch for her.
"Just the way you pack it for yourself. I thought about substituting somethings, but I knew that you wouldn't appreciate the gesture as much if I did things my way for you," he smiled and went back to his paper. "So when you've had some breakfast, we'll head out."
"Thanks, Daddy," Lissa said. She was appreciative at his attempt. She knew he was trying to appologixze for his male posturing, and she was glad that he at least felt like an appologetic gesture was due.
When they got in the car and he put her morning show on instead of his, she knew he was feeling bad, which made her kind of suspicious.
"Okay, spill," Lissa said.
"What do you mean?" Mr. Morris asked.
"You know what I mean. You packed my lunch and it's on my radio sation. What gives?" Lissa demanded.
"I told you that I wanted to be at school early. The radio station is the last one that was on, and I've simply been too distracted to notice. So nothing to spill," Mr. Morris said, reaching out and changing the station back to his own.
Lissa knew that technically he was right, but she sensed somehting more. It was meeting someone who claimed to work for a newspaper but had no ink stains on their hands or shirt cuffs. Somethings just don't add up no matter how hard you try. They did typically listen to her radio station in the afternoon and in the morning her dad would switch to his. But the fact he didn't do it that morning was more proof that something was up.
"Okay, so what has you so distracted that you didn't realize my morning show was on instead of your usual NPR programming?" Lissa asked.
"It's the whole Leo thing," Mr. Morris said.
"I knew it! But I think there's something you're just not telling me," Lissa said turning her full attention to her father. She was trying to study his features and look for clues.
"Stop doing that," Mr. Morris said.
"Doing what?" Lissa asked, knowing exactly what he was refferring too.
"Trying to look into my mind or whatever it is you try to do when you study someone. I never am sure what exactly goes through your mind when you get that look, but I know you're analyzing every movement I make, even slight facial twitches."
"I'm looking for clues. I just don't get it Dad. I know you said when I'm like ancient and forty or whatever I would understand, but I don't think I will. I think there was more than just a little papa bear syndrome going on when you found Leo in our living room. I just can't tell what it was all about," Lissa said.
"It's nothing really. I just wasn't expecting to find him in our house. That's all," Mr. Morris said, trying to think of a way to change the subject without bringing more scruntiny on him.
"Why though? That's the real question," Lissa said.
"Because he doesn't really talk to people, because you're not really friends with him, because he may have saved my life but doesn't want any credit for it. You can take your pick," Mr. Morris said.
"Fair enough, but let the record show that I think you are holding out on me!" Lissa said turning her attention back out the window.
"Duly noted," Mr. Morris said less than pleased that his indescretions were leading him to withhold information from his daughter. But to be fair, he was embarrassed that he had acted the way he had.
When they split at the office, like they did every morning, Lissa made one finally plea, "Daddy, you know you can tell me right?"
"Why do I suddenly feel like the kid in this situation?" Mr. Morris laughed and kissed Lissa on the forehead. "Have a good day, sweetheart."
After he signed in and checked his mail box, Mr. Morris decided to make the long loop around the school to get to his classroom. He wasn't going to bother going down to the gym or the cafeteria, but he might as well do a lap around the first and then the second floors.
He would have descended into the basement floor, but he figured those areas were too populated in the early morning for a kid like Leo to be hanging around. Leo was more of the Learning Resource Center kind of kid, quite and typically empty.
Mr. Morris didn't know what he would say to Leo when he found him, but he had to set things straight. The last few weeks had left him in a weird place emotionally. He had just finally decided to take a chance and pursue at least a friendship with a coworker outside of school and he's attacked and nearly killed.
That alone was enough to make a guy rethink his current situation. he was alone, but never lonely. Of course, Lissa would eventually go off to college and then perhaps the loneliness would kick in. Maybe his routine would sustain him for a while, but humans are social animals.
Nevertheless, when you're britally attacked and nearly killed trying to go out with friends, you start to wonder if God perhaps didn't approve of that particular liason.
The fact that the school outcast was his hero and resuer was a bit more than he could handle. There were many issues here that had to be dealt with. The first would be Leo if he could find the boy.
Mr. Morris didn't know where to look really. He had been at Epcot for years, but he rarely had a reason to be out of the science hall. So he rarely took the oppertnity to roam the school. he was just glad that his lab was on the first floor. Sometimes he would have liked to have been on the second just so the noise of moving chairs didn't drift down through the drop ceiling. But at least he wasn't in he subteraniaum basement level.
The school was fairly new, so his room and the facility itself were very well maintained and updated. He rarely took the time to notice though. School for him was a place of employment, not a second home. He spent a lot of time there, and he was not an overly traditional teacher, but he came there to teach not to hang out or relax.
He was about to give up his seach when he spotted Leo between a row of lockers, "Leo, mind if I have a word with you?"
"Only one? You'll need to chose it very carefully," Leo said.
"Look, I didn't come looking for you to continue this little charade. I think we both know why you were at my house yesterday, and I just wanted to say point taken," Mr. Morris said.
"Is that really why you're here?" Leo asked, still rumaging through his locker.
"That and to apologize. I had no right to show up at your house," Mr. Morris said.
"Then why did you? Why did you invade my life?" Leo said in a snarl.
"I just needed to know if you were the one who saved me in that parking lot," Mr. Morris said.
"So you decided to ignore my wishes to remain anonymous. You decided that the best way to repay my kindness was to invade my home, to weasle your way into my life, to illicit from my servents information which you have no right to?" Leo said in a raspy whisper that had hints of tears in it.
"Leo, I didn't mean to disrespect you. I just wanted to repay you for your kindness," Mr. Morris said, pleading.
"Repay me for my kindness, by invading my privacy. Haven't you noticed that I like to keep to myself. What in the world would have made you think coming to my house would be appropriate?" Leo demanded.
"I just wanted to find a way to repay you that wasn't cliche," Mr. Morris said.
"Not cliche, how's this for not cliche? Let me date your daughter," Leo said, turning his attention from his locker to Mr. Morris. His gaze was piercing. "What's wrong? Nothing to say now?"
"I have no control over who my daughter dates. She's her own person," Mr. Morris said fumbling his words.
"Then I have your blessing? My friendly gesture of saving your life repaid with being permited to pursue your daughter?" Leo asked.
"I won't stand in your way," Mr. Morris said, resolute.
"Ah, but will you encourage it? After all my hospitality, the least you could do is put in a good word for me," Leo said closing his locker.
"I'll see what I can do," Mr. Morris said.
"Oh and if I may be so bold as to ask one more thing, stay out of my personal affairs, especially my house," Leo said turning and dissappearing out the back of the row of lockers.
Mr. Morris didn't know what to think. He really had no reason to not like Leo besides the fact that he appeared to be a parentless monster. And who was he to judge? He didn't like the idea of pushing his daughter into this. He would have to come completely clean with Lissa and let her decide whether or not she wanted any part of Leo.
He hoped she would not entertain the idea, but he also knew that Leo had stray qualities that always called to Lissa.
Leo wandered off to class, wondering if Lissa would be swayed by his request. He wasn't so naive to believe that Mr. Morris would ever like him. But he hoped that he might win his daughter's favor.
There was something about Lissa's nature that seemed so gentle and pure that Leo was softened by it, like the music of her soul soothed the savage beast of his soul. She had a calming affect and while he didn't exactly understand it, he knew enough to enjoy it.
Leo had been practicing being more social. He was trying to smile at people in the hallway, but he was quite certain that what he was trying to pass off for a smile was more often recieved as a kind of snarl.
The closed off nature of Leo's personality had been a necessity to keep him safe from harm. The servants in his house were fairly constant, and one would think that that kind of consistency would create a level person, but it didn't.
Even the fact that his parents servants when they were young raised children who became his servants didn't ease the pain he had. They were by no means indentured servants or slaves. They had willingly agreed to serve and could at any time walk away. But even though Leo knew they never would, he still distanced himself so as not to be hurt if they did leave.
Leo thought about just skipping classes all day. He'd just go home and well that ws the problem. He didn't know what he would do at home. He might as well be at school. At least then he could see Lissa, even if she rarely saw him. He knew he was a shadowy figure. he knew that teachers didn't even know or remember when he was in class or not in class.
It wasn't his fault. He was a product of his environment. At least that's what he kept telling himself. Change was something that had to be eased in to. He already felt rushed to be nicer. It didn't seem to be working.
When he saw Lissa, he smiled and gave an almost shy wave. He didn't know what it was about her, but she made him feel like he was capable of more, like there was more to life.
Lissa gave a half-hearted wave back. She still didn't not not like him. He still seemed very much a potential tragedy waiting to happen. She wondered if she was just overthinking everything. He could have been lurking around the peripheal of her life for years and she just failed to notice.
That was possible. It didn't seem likely, but it did seem possible. It was like when you got a certain type of car. all of a sudden you could spot them all over. They didn't just get more plentiful or popular. You just became more conscience of their exsistence.
She just wished that him showing up on her radar didn't give her the chills. He could be a nice guy. In fact she was sure he probably was. But somehting dark and dangerous was lurking under the surface and it wasn't the kind of dangerous that girls flock to in their youth and flee as they mature. It was a deep kind of dark.
It wasn't exactly an evil and yet it had a tinge of that to it. It seemed more likely a deep hurt that had barricaded itself behind years of defenses. When he sat there on the couch he seemed so awkward and shy and at the same time cool and claculating. He was an inigma to be sure. Lissa had no doubt that if she spent more time around him she would only be faced with more paradoxical moments.
Lissa allowed her mind to drift where it please and floated through the morning a shell. It made her think about how her dad would talk about students with perfect attendence who were never in class. He meant it figuratively, but the first time he ever said it, Lissa had a picture in her mind of kids in the halls or bathroom when they should be in class.
Lissa braced herself for the barrage of questions that was about to come. She was just thankful that no one knew that after Ralph, Jake, and Cindy left Leo showed up. Those were questions and comments she knew she wasn't ready for.
The girls looked like pharranah trained by Pavlo himself. They were practically foaming at the mouth when Lissa got close. "Spill, girl," Tiana said not even waiting for Lissa to sit down.
"You'll have to excuse her," Jasmine said. "Cindy won't tell anything. She just keeps smiling like she swallowed the bird or whatever."
"The cat who swallowed the canary?" Aenira asked.
"I said or whatever, that prety much covers it," Jasmine said rolling her almond eyes.
"You take your time sweetie. Don't let them rush you. They never learned to savor anything. Spoiled rich kids is all," Ariel said.
"Whoa," Cindy said nearly standing up. "Look at the princess calling the tiara sparkly."
"It's fine," Lissa said. "But I'm sorry there's not much to tell. Cindy set you all up."
"She's being modest," Cindy said.
"No, I'm not. I mean we studied."
"I bet you studied his anatomy," Tiana said.
"Let me rephrase that. We brainstormed and worked out ideas for our papers," Lissa said. "That was pretty much the whole of it. We talked a little in between epic flaws, but nothing was too revealing."
"She's leaving a huge part out," Cindy said.
"That's what she said," Ariel said.
"Ariel, that doens't make any sense," Cindy said, playfully pushing her off her seat.
"Yeah it does," Ariel insisted.
"Whatever, she didn't mention that she has a date with Jake this Saturday," Cindy said. The rest of the girls exploded in giggles and pokes to the ribs.
"It's not that big of a deal," Lissa said dismissing it.
"How is that not a big deal?" Aenira asked.
"Well, it's more like a group date not like a real date," Lissa said.
"Look she's going to be in a dark theatre with Jakey-poo. That's what matters," Cindy said.
"Thanks to you," Lissa said bowing her head. "Cindy here was a maniac pressing for info and trying to force us together and bringing up sexual stuff."
The table erupted again in giggles and rib jabbing. Cindy always had seemed to be the most mature of the group, but she had two older step sister. That alone made her an expert on all things womanly. She knew how to use a tampon before most of her friends knew what one was. She learned the scoring and code of dating baseball, which she shared with all of them.
"I didn't do that much," Cindy said not meaning it.
"She did. Listen to her being humble now. She actually set the date up with Ralph. That's why I say it's not a big deal. It's not like Jake asked me out," Lissa said.
"But she's still going out with him. And trust me, I'll have Ralphy boy well entertained," Cindy said winking.
"No one at this table would doubt that," Tiana said.
The girls continued their back and forth picking and turned their attention to other things. Just like pharanahs, once the fresh meat was gone, they went back to calm.
Lissa scanned the room looking for the boys, any of them really. She didn't think Leo ever actually came into the cafeteria. If he did, he did a good job of blending in. She saw Ralph and Jake at their usual table. It made sense. Her and Jake, Cindy and Ralph. Anyone from her table and anyone from their table. She wasn't the stylish popular girl that say Ariel was, but she was part of the in crowd even if she had stayed out of the lime light for quite some time.
It was perfectly acceptable that Cindy had set up the date. Jake never set up dates and well, Lissa had never been on a date, so it wasn't a real surprise that Lissa needed Cindy's help.
Lissa was hoping that she could take it from here. She'd never really tried to get a boy's attention. She seemed to get attention from time to time, especially when she dressed up or wore a dress or something, but she had never used that attention. Of course there was the Garrett style of attention she tried to avoid.
If she wanted Jake to like her, surely she could get him to. She was afterall charming and witty and well read. She tried to tellherself that those things mattered, but she knew what would make the bigger difference, clothes and hair. Cindy may have had been weird in her room the night before, but the girl knew how to draw a man in nice and close.
Lissa was suddenly appalled at how easy it was to dissappear in broad daylight. She had been absent from her mornign classes and now at lunch with the girls she had gone soe where.
The conversations of the girls aroudn her looked like giant music notes floating up to a staff. It was visual in ways that people talking weren't. Only she couldn't say anything. Here she was thinking about how easy it was to not be present in the present.
She wondered if anyone at the table or even at a surrounding table noticed that she had essentially checked herself out. Then she wondered if anyone did know if they would be so bold as to engage her. She figured no one would because people always feel like it's none of their business. Lissa knew she lived in a society that didn't want to get involved. No one knew their neighbors anymore and if they did, well they were just nebby.
People tended to only see what they wanted to see and pay attention to the details that pertained to them. It wasn't like she was any better, but she at least had come to realize that she was running around with blinders on. She began to focus on each of the girls at the table.
She wanted to see what they were saying more so than hear it. She was looking for facial expressions that did or didn't match or body posturing that might be telling. She imagined that professional poker players must be pretty good at this time of scrutiny.
It was demanding work. It was no wonder people tended to gloss over the finer details. You had to really work to see them. Lissa tried once more to steady her mind and cue into only certain conversations or people. It was no use. She shook her head. there were just too many distractions for her.
Not that it mattered, but Lissa wanted to be noticed without changing her appearance. She didn't want to have to primp and prep like other girls. She rather enjoyed her low maintanance routines. Why change all of that?
She felt hands on her shoulders that gently began to massage the tension and frustration away. She didn't want to look up for fear that it was someone awful. The massage felt so needed.
"Ladies." Thank God, it was Jake. "You don't mind if I steal Lissa here away for a few do you?" The table melted in unison.
I eased my way back into Jake and stood up. He put his arm around my neck like it was the most natural and second nature thing he ever did. It was like we suddenly shared a bond that most comples only feel during the courtship.
She knew she was letting her overactive and overworked imagination get the better of her, but ti was fun to give in to temptation from time to time.
"What's up Jake?" Lissa asked, rasing her right hand so that it locked fingers with his right hand restig around her neck.
"Nothing much, Ralph just told me the plan for us to double this weekend and I wanted to amke sure you were on board. Like it's legit?" he asked.
"What do yo mean?" Lissa asked.
"I mean, like they're not putting you up to this or anything?" Jake sounded seriously concerend.
"Jake, why would anyone have to be put up to going out with you? You're gorgeous and fun to be around. i could go on, but really that's enough of a reason right there," Lissa said turning her nose up to face Jake.
He took the oppertunity as an invitationa nd kissed her on the nose. "You are a sweet girl. I'm glad you're down with it all because I've kinda been crushing on you to be honest," Jake said.
"You crushing on me?" Lissa asked incredulously. She looked around the room like she had lost or dropped soemthing. "Where are they?" she asked.
"Where are who, Lissa?" Jake asked.
"The cameras," Lissa said. "I just know I'm getting punked. Ashton Kutcher come on out fella."
"No this is real, Lissa. Too real almost. I got to go," Jake said in a hurry.
He let his fingers trace Lissa's one last time before gently releasing her hand and returning his arm to his side. As Jake walked away, Lissa wondered if she had tempted fate too much.
Well she thought, whatever I did, I must have done soemthing right. She looked out the large bay windows on the only side of the cafeteria that show the outside. Jake dissappeared out into the gray overcast day. It was like he was swallowed by a fog.
While Lissa fond it incredibly odd that Jake would be outside the cafeteria at any point in the day, she also had learned to roll with it. Sometimes you just had to go with the flow and roll on. It doesn't always matter so much where you're going. What ereally matters is who you share it with.
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