Opening her book back up, Lissa quickly started in on the homework. Five minutes wasn't much time, and while most of the class was packing up, she knew she should at least get a jump on it. Lissa didn't really want much. But lately life seemed out of focus.
Not all that long ago, she went to school, concentrated on her studies, helped take care of her dad, and thought about colleges. Ever since she decided she wanted a boy to notice her, things were going haywire.
Lissa was in thought, but her pencil was not. Thanks to the power of rote memorization and a solid understanding of algebraic concepts, she could actually work problems and think about something completely different at the same exact time. Probably not Mr. Andrew's preferred method, but it was effective.
It was terribly early to be thinking prom, but for the past three years, Lissa had avoided prom. She had no desire to spend that kind of money on a dress that wouldn't be worn again. She also didn't like the idea of gyrating all over some random boy who bought condoms because it's prom night and every teenage boy thinks that prom is an aphrodisiac.
Nevertheless, the past was the past and now suddenly having these cliched high school experiences meant something to her. She didn't want to go off to college having never really been kissed. She wanted to be able to talk about dances and games she attended.
She wanted to make and have friends that you get excited to see when you come home from college during a break. Unfortunately, she wasn't good at making friends. It didn't matter if they were boys or girls. She had no really really close friends. The closest thing to a BFF was her dad, and that was just a sad and depressing thought.
She had friends and was friendly with nearly everyone. Garrett was the only person who antagonized her. The thought of Garrett made her shiver. The shiver came not from a repulsion to Garrett, but the nature of Garrett's intentions.
Lissa wasn't a moron. She knew that Garrett liked her. That made her feel sick. He was just slimy. He had that ambulance chasing lawyer persona mixed with a little used car salesmen with just a hint of wife beater thrown in. He could be very charming. Unfortunately, he rarely was and never for good reasons.
"BEEEP!"
Class was over. Lissa looked down, a little shocked. She had finished nearly half her assignment in those few minutes before the bell. Had she focused on the math she might have been finished entirely.
She gathered her things and nudged Leo. Jerk or not she wouldn't let him sleep through lunch or where ever he went next. She honestly couldn't remember if he was in her lunch period or not.
The halls were crowded and loud. Lissa kept to the edge of the hallway, trying to avoid the random contacts of the herd. Without ever being told to, the students seemed to know that if you stayed to the right you could travel around the building. It was like a two lane highway between classes.
"Lisssssaaaaa," hot breath tickled the back of Lissa's neck. The smell of tobacco stung her nose as the smell crawled around her neck and invaded her olfactory.
Lissa stopped. A nearly impossible task as the traffic was moving and one person stopping could cause a major back up. However, her tormentor knew she'd stop.
It was what he liked the most about her. Lissa was one of the only girls who stood up to him. Other girls may have screamed or cried or implemented any number of basic animalistic defenses, but Lissa Morris was a rare creature.
He thought of her like the killer bunny on that Monty Python movie. "Look at the bones!" he would say when someone questioned his fascination with Lissa. She had a tongue so sharp it could cut titanium.
Garrett enjoyed a challenge. Being as big and scary as he was, very few people, teachers included, ever challenged him. Lissa always did.
Suddenly, Garrett was the rock and Lissa was the kayak. The river flowed around them, but she was in calm waters and he never moved as the wave of people hit and split around him.
"Did you feel it?" Lissa asked. A loaded question.
"Feel what?" Garrett asked imitated the phone sex operators he had heard. Even if lechery wasn't something he had to fake. It was a primal attraction. His bear to her bunny.
"The chill in the air caused by the vacuum between your ears. You're so incredibly dense that you can't even hold on to the fact that I find you repulsive and morally reprehensible. You disgust me," Lissa said.
"So you like me?" Garrett asked.
"Oh yeah, I like you like I like a good yeast infection," she smiled with her lips but said "Go to hell" with her eyes.
"So you need help making bread?" Garrett asked.
Lissa had hoped that the yeast infection comment would turn him off. She should have known better. "Sure big guy," she said sounding sultry and touching his chest. "How about we start with kneading the dough?" Lissa said running her hands up and down his chest. "Would you like that?" she asked in a baby talk voice.
"You know it," Garrett said reaching his meat hooks out to grab her.
His hands never made contact with her. She had slid her hands up to his shoulders and in one swift motion, she pulled with all she had and rammed her knee into the current location of his brain.
The knee to the groin was enough to make big tough Garrett yelp like a puppy who had its tail stepped on and double over in pain like an amateur boxer hit full force in the gut by Mike Tyson.
Lissa spun on her heals and merged back out into traffic. Garrett was swallowed by the tide.
Giggling, Lissa swung by her locker and dropped off everything she didn't need for lunch or her afternoon classes. Garrett had given her a momentary reprise from her lack of friends thoughts.
But as she descended the back stairwell into the cavernous cafeteria, she was suddenly reminded that she didn't have any real friends.
She had friends, and Ralph was most certainly a good friend by most any definition, but weren't girls supposed to have girlfriends. I was moments of weird gender related revelations that Lissa most despised her mother.
She never really blamed her mother for seeking her own happiness, but Lissa often wondered if being raised with a woman in the house, she might not have turned out a little more, well girly.
Lissa scanned the cafeteria for her normal lunch table. It was filled with other girls, some of which were almost definitely each other's BFF. She wondered if she asked, if any of the girls would consider her their BFF. She would never ask. It would be too embarrassing.
She took her place at the table and began her evaluation of the girls. THe lunch table consisted of eight regulars counting Lissa and a few rotating cast members. The regulars were Lissa, Tiana, Mel (short for Melany), Mel's sister Ariel, Aurora, Aenira, Jasmine, and Cindy.
For the most part they were pretty girls who were popular. They weren't your typical mean girls, but as Lissa well knew, they all had their own stories and reasons for being extra nice to other people.
Lissa listened with feigned interest as the girls talked about their respective prince charmings. All the while, she was looking for a sign that she might be able to deepen her bond with one of the girls.
Maybe then she'd have a confidant that she could trust enough that her mind wouldn't play the kind of nasty tricks it had been playing on her as of late. She was beginning to see the visions of Leo and her insistence that her father had meddled as the symptoms of an over worked mind.
She did talk to her dad a lot, but he was her dad and a teacher in her school and there are some things a girl just doesn't want to talk to her dad about, like feminine hygiene, under garments, and boys.
"Lissa," Aenira said, breaking Lissa's introspection. "How was Sit-N-Eat with Jakey poo?"
"He is so dreamy, but dumb as a rock," Ariel said. "I'm sorry," she said after Mel cut her eyes at her little sister, "But I'm not lying."
"It was good. And so what? So his happy meal came with two toys and no food. Big deal. He's sweet and silly. Sometimes deep conversation is over rated," Lissa said giggling because she didn't really believe it herself.
"I wouldn't want a long term anything with that boy, but I'd let him work out in my living room while I sat on the couch and watched," Aura said. Cindy threw a french fry at her. "What? Like you wouldn't. The boy is F-I-N-E fine!"
Lissa laughed, "I just hope he notices me enough between now and next spring. He spent most of the evening whispering jokes to Sandy."
"Don't worry girl," Aenira said. "Your prince is out there somewhere and in the mean time, why not do a little chasing. You've never really tried to land a guy, so it'll take a little work, but you can do it."
Lissa smiled. Aenira was one of the prettiest girls in the school and next to Tiana's or Jamine's darker completion her skin was milky white. She always wore red lipstick that made her look so pale.
The summer after the eighth grade Jasmine's parents had paid for the girls to all spend a week at the beach together. Most of the girls were ecstatic, not Aenira. She bought this thick zinc cream to make sure her skin wasn't damaged.
The other girls wore barely any block at all and tanned and darkened all week. Aenira kept saying, "Laugh now, but when we're in our thirties and you look like a worn out leather handbag, don't come crying to me.
The girls were sweet. They were her friends but she had never really developed a close friendship with any of them. They had all been together since elementary school. They all went to the same middle school and now would graduate from Epcot together. Ariel was a younger, but the rest of the girls were applying to colleges just like Lissa was.
A deep crimson tide came sweeping in on Lissa's face. She suddenly realized that she had no clue where any of the other girls were applying. She had hung out with all of them on one occasion or another. She spent her lunch with them five days a week. And yet she never really paid attention before.
She felt guilty for being so self centered. "Hey, Lissa. Did you really knee Garrett in the groin?" Cindy asked randomly.
"Yep, but he had it coming," Lissa said ashamed and proud at the same time.
"He always has it coming. But somehow he never manages to get it. He probably considers that knee some type of foreplay," Mel said.
"Not funny," Lissa said.
"Why chase Jake when Garrett is all about you?" Ariel giggled.
"I'll be sure to send him your way, Ariel," Lissa said.
"Do it," Ariel replied. "I'm serious. I would love to snuggle up to him. He might be a bit jerky at times but he's cute and funny."
"He's a jerk, Ariel. Leave that one alone," Mel said giving her sagely and sisterly advice. "Remember, I dated the cretin. I know the him that's under the creepy facade and it's even more creepy than than the facade."
"If you say so," Ariel said unswayed. "But given the chance this is one mistake I'd like to make for myself."
The table fell silent as a new presence sat down. Lissa was afraid to look because of the eerie silence.
All eyes were on the person to her left, occupying the only empty seat at their table. Was it Garrett? No she's know that.
She turned her head, Jake. "Hello, gorgeous," Jake said. "So, Ralphy boy said you were having a powwow at your place tonight to discuss Hamlet and Beowulf. I'd like to come. I have Mrs. G. second period and she gave us the same assignment. So can I invite myself."
'Play it coy, Lissa. Don't gush,' she told herself. "Sure," she said overly loud. So loud in fact that the cafeteria stopped moving for a split second and there was no noise whatsoever while the crowd searched for the source. "I mean of course you can come over too," Lissa said trying to regain her composure. The cafeteria returned to its normal buzz.
"Cool see ya later," Jake said tapping the table as he got up. The minute he was a few feet away from the table the girls burst into raging fits of laughter.
"Whoa, Lissa. I think you got him," Aurora said.
"Please, he just wants help with his homework," Lissa said dismissively.
"Is that what you call it?" Ariel asked. "Our mom calls it washing dishes, but hey if you want to do your homework with him, who are we to judge."
Lissa found a french fry and launched it across the table. "What are you going to wear?" Aenira asked.
"What I have on. Why would I change?" Lissa asked.
"So you look interested. God Lissa, you act like you've never had a boyfriend," Aenira said.
"I've not," Lissa said. Her words dropped on the table like a thousand pound bomb. It's not like who was dating whom was a big deal. The girls had boyfriends, and they dished on which boy could kiss and which was a cheapskate. It was never obvious that Lissa played a part in the conversations but never added to the tomes of boy knowledge.
"Oh," Aenira was out of things to say.
"No help. I want a boyfriend. I want Jake to be interested. I am interested in him. What do I do?" Lissa asked.
"Okay, so you need to put on a little make up and a shirt that clings," Aenira said.
"You want to show off what the good lord gave you! You got any tight jeans?" Mel asked.
"Not really," Lissa said. This whole thing was starting to sound too much like work. No wonder she never really pursued anyone. This getting a guy thing was a lot of work.
"Don't worry, we're about the same size," Cindy said. "I got The G spot for English too. No doubt we have the same assignment. I'll come over early and help you get ready. Bring you my best jeans. Tonight, we reel you in a man."
Lissa ducked her head a little the sudden attention was more than she was ready for. Life seemed to be moving at an disproportionate pace all of a sudden.
She was excited and embarrassed and still a little doubtful. Jake probably just wanted some extra help on his paper. After all, if he wanted something else, wouldn't he have asked to study alone or some other time?
Logic and reason were certainly two of Lissa's downfalls. She struggled to let herself really enjoy the fact that she would get to spend sometime with Jake that night. Instead of enjoying the moment, she became obsessed with his motives. There were plenty of girls at Epcot who would willingly hand over anything for a few hours with Jake.
That got her thinking. Lissa started to wonder who knew if Jake was a good kisser. She hadn't heard anything about him during their dish sessions. He never came up except to mention how fine he was or what he was wearing. None of the other girls had ever dated him. He had been out with them on group kind of things, but Jake never seemed to belong to any one girl. He was too much of a player.
When they were at Sit-N-Eat, girls showered him with attention, but he didn't dote on just one of them. He bounced around, changed his seat, and flirted with every girl there.
Maybe she should just enjoy the fact that he wanted to spend time with her and stop worrying about his intentions. At the end of the day, he was sexy and funny and would be at her house before too long.
Did she have a clingy shirt? She didn't think so. She never bought those baby doll Ts. She had maybe a button down shirt that was cut to fit closely. She'd have to make due with that.
The afternoon flashed by in a blur of classes, chitchat, and day dreams. Lissa couldn't believe she was imagining Jake kissing her. She was glad she had waited until her senior year to get fixated on boys, but a little bit of practice might have been nice.
"Dad," Lissa said in the car, "Ralph, Jake, and Cindy are coming over later to work on our assignment for The G...err Mrs. G."
"Why do you kids insist on calling her that?" Mr. Morris asked.
"What?" Lissa asked trying to sound innocent.
"The G Spot. It's not even clever. Her last name is Guestofferson. So Mrs. G. seems lazy but somewhat understandable. But why the G. Spot?"
"Dad, the boys started it because they all think she's hot. Have you noticed Dad that she's rather attractive?" Lissa asked.
"Well, umm, yes, but that doesn't excuse the nickname," Mr. Morris said.
"Nope. Not an excuse, just an origin. So it's okay if we study at the house?" Lissa asked.
"I don't mind. How do you feel about just ordering some pizza then for dinner?" Mr. Morris asked.
"Sounds like a good plan," Lissa said.
When Cindy arrived, Lissa had pretty much talked herself out of doing anything to attract Jake. Some things are hopeless and should stay that way.
Cindy could sense the defeat in Lissa. She didn't like it. "Girl, you are gorgeous. You don't give yourself enough credit. There's a reason Garrett puts up with your constant abuse." Lissa went to interrupt but Cindy cut her off, "I know he's an asshole, but the boy hounds you because you're gorgeous and smart. You got the total package, but you hide the presents behind ill fitting clothes."
Cindy reached into the bag she brought and pulled out a blouse and a pair of jeans. "Put these on,"she said smacking Lissa on the behind.
Cindy threw herself down on Lissa's bed sinking into the sea of pillows and stuffed animals. When Lissa was done to her bra and underwear, Cindy sat up like she'd been jabbed by a needle. "Whoa, no. Nut-huh. Which one is the underwear draw?"
"What?" Lissa asked covering herself and trying to put the blouse on at the same time.
"You can't wear white cotton. You need color, lace, satin, or all of the above," Cindy said. "You can't be at your best in laundry day undies. You need some funderwear!"
"Why? I'm not a whore. He's not going to see them no matter how well tonight goes," Lissa said indignant.
"That's the common misconception. Funderwear is not for someone else. It's for you. You want to exude confidence and sexiness. You need to know that you have on the hottest little bra and panties you own. He doesn't need to know it, but he will know it because you'll just be different. He won't know why or how, but he'll notice. Wearing sexy underwear is like putting on a Cat Woman costume. You can't help but be more confident," Cindy said rooting through Lissa's drawers.
Lissa didn't see how underwear made that much of a difference. She also didn't think she had much of anything that could be considered funderwear. She was a Haines kind of girl. Simple and down to earth.
"These will have to do," Cindy said holding up a matching pink set. Lissa raised her eyebrows and waited for Cindy to turn around. "Oh, I get it you're shy," Cindy said finally getting the hint. She buried herself in the pile of stuffed animals while Lissa changed.
"Okay, you can look now. What do you think?" Lissa asked.
"I think Jake doesn't stand a chance!" Cindy said
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