Sunday, November 7, 2010

Day Seven...still on track but not where i'd like to be 17158


As Lissa walked down the stairs into the family room to get ready for their study session, she couldn't help but wonder why she was trying so hard.  She didn't feel natural, so that meant she obsessed about how she looked.  It's hard to be natural or act natural when you don't feel natural.
            Jake liking her seemed so paramount.  It was as if her whole high school career was hinging on this one event that Lissa knew would matter very little in a decade.  Nevertheless, it didn't matter, but it was immensely important.  She had taken care of her grades and participated in enough clubs and extra curricular activities to fill out her resume. 
            The only part of high school that she had some how missed was boys and dating.  It wasn't like she had been pining for boys; she hadn't.  She only recently became aware of the fact that she had never had a boyfriend.  But like a sudden craving for Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia, there would be no easing the urges without getting the real thing.
            "Are you sure I look okay?" Lissa asked.
            "Yeah, totally legit.  He's going to be all about you!" Cindy said.
            The girls busied themselves getting the room ready and microwaving pizza poppers for the boys.  Mr. Morris couldn't take the overt girly-ness oozing off of Lissa.  He had seen enough.
            "Lissa, I'm going out for a bit.  Be good, be careful, and stay out of the liquor."
            "Dad, we're studying, not partying," Lissa said offended.
            "Yeah well, I just wanted to make sure I covered all of the bases.  Have fun kids," Mr. Morris said letting himself out.
            He wasn't sure why he couldn't leave this thing alone, but he had to see it through.  He may not have asked Mr. Andrews to put Leo and Lissa at a table together, he was glad he abandoned those types of plans, but he did get Mr. Andrews to look up Leo's info in the computer.
            You always had access to your students' info, but once they weren't on your roster, you couldn't access it any more.  Mr. Morris didn't want to deal with the office or counseling department.  He just wanted to know where Leo lived.  He needed to know if he was the one who saved him and why.
            Following the directions he found on Google Maps, Mr. Morris navigated through town.  It was the town he had grown up in.  It seemed a lifetime ago when he lived in the little house on Fairmont with his parents and two older sisters.  They were all gone now.  His parents rested peacefully in Saint Francis's Cemetery on the far end of town.  His sisters had gone off to college and never returned for more than a short visit.
            His mother died relatively early.  She had never met Lissa's mom let alone Lissa.  When his father finally passed away, Mark had no idea what to do with the house.  He had already bought his place out in Charter Acres.  His sisters didn't care.
            So he sorted and packed and sold.  He regretted the sale of the house every time he drove within a two-block radius of the old place.  It had been bought and sold a few times since he originally sold it, but he still somehow felt responsible for anything that happened to the house.
            In a way he saw it as being done to his parents.  This was what bothered him most.  He loved an honored his parents.  He hated to see something that they poured love into fall into disrepair.  He considered buying the place every time it came back up for rent.  But he wasn't serious about it.  He still had no reason beyond sentimentality to buy a second home not ten minutes from the first.
            He'd had a good youth on these streets.  He did sometimes wish he had chosen to buy a place in town.  There was something magical about streetlights and sidewalks.
            He and Lissa's mom had bought the American Dream of the suburban life and never asked for change.  He knew Lissa had had a good childhood.  He never doubted that, but nonetheless, there was a difference.
            He laughed to himself and thought how it never really matters what you have or don't have unless you can be truly happy and that true happiness didn't come from locales outside oneself but from inside oneself.  

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